In this post I’m going to introduce you to my sisters. Maybe everyone has sisters like these two, but I somehow doubt it.
My dad has thrown up his hands in defeat when it comes to civilizing them. That was about when they started catching pigeons and pulling their heads off. Yeah, it might be a good source of free meat and a way of controlling a feral population, but seriously?
Anyway, their names are Holli and Asha. They’re identical twins and a year younger than I am. We’re about as different as you get while still be related to each other!
To start with, they terrorize our little brothers, Rex and Forrest. Mostly in a good way, but sometimes not so much… I often find myself rescuing my brothers. (Did you really need to hogtie him to the tree and put birdseed on his head to see if it would attract the pigeons?).
On the note on rescuing, I spend a lot of time rescuing THEM whenever they do something stupid or not quite thought through. Or, when they ‘put their foot in it’ in social situations and I have to do some fast covering up to avoid offending everyone.
Or I patch them up when they injure themselves and don’t want mum and dad to know. They insist that I just like playing doctor, but when I find them changing the band-aid on Asha’s finger for the third time because blood keeps soaking it, I generally tend to think that they might need some help. And maybe get better at whittling.
To tell you the truth I love them to death (don’t tell them I said that, they think emotions like love are evil). If there’s anything about feelings in a book they’re reading they ditch it!
An Interview with the Crazy Clones
I’ve managed to rope Holli and Asha into doing an interview with me, let’s see how this goes!
What are your hobbies and Interests?
We really like just about anything to do with animals, making medieval armour and weapons, running doing puzzles and gardening.
What’s the funniest thing we’ve ever done together?
Asha – Well… There’s that time we ended up leading a rally in Alice Springs last year? That was definitely your fault.
Holli – I don’t think we should say, mum and dad will probably read this post…
Do you like small children?
Definitely not. They get in the way, they’re noisy, they throw up on you, they don’t understand when you tell them to go away and you get in heaps of trouble if you drop someone else’s!
What are your favourite foods?
Frozen-banana-chocolate-milkshake and homemade pineapple pizza!
How tall are you?
That’s not a very nice question to ask. WE ARE NOT SHORT! Just slightly vertically challenged. And no, there was never a height competition so that means we can’t have lost, even if you ended up 11 cm tall then us… It’s not really that much different? Plus, we fit in our tent better, so there.
If you could be a superhero, what power would you possess?
We’d definitely choose to be really really fast because no one can catch you if you do something wrong and have to do a runner. And we’re good at getting ourselves in those sorts of situations.
Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
Sorry, what? We wouldn’t fight them. Imagine how great it would be riding a horse-sized duck. And think of the drumsticks!
We’ve decided to write a book together for Camp NaNoWriMo, how do you think this will turn out?
Messy. And why do you keep making us plan it out? We’ve still got three days so stop nagging, we’ll get around to it eventually.
How many pets do you have?
531, if we’re counting the crickets! If not – 31, so not that many really. That’s two blue tongue lizards, two geese three ducklings, six chickens and eighteen quail. That’s not too many for a town block. I have no idea why dad keeps saying we need to stop getting animals or we’ll get evicted.
They also have a blog!
It’s called Crazy Clones, check it out! Just be warned, they are way weirder than I am.
What about you?
I bet you have some weird family members, tell us about them in the comments below!